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one of my computers is majorly fucked up, so i had to transfer all my important files [such as handsome boy modeling school mp3s] over to this computer. well, i was looking through some old text files and i found something i wrote circa 8th grade which is rather terrifying. i remember writing it, but not what i wrote.
it was something i did not want to read and i questioned how stupid i was back then. this was something i would not even put into that creative writing final binder had i come upon it back then [not that it was appropriate for class...]
geek alert :[
  • Current Music
    new order - temptation

you turn me on, the girl is gone, so come on

today my mother came in my room and asked what i was listening to, then said it sounded like hootie and the blowfish.
today the schneid told us she was retiring after this school year. it made me a tad sad, because she almost started crying, but then immediately began mentally constructing who the newspaper teacher will be next year. they will be hot, in a mysterious way. and male... duh.
i finally saw/heard the stills who have been mentioned in many a magazine... via a video on noggin (?). is this weird?
that rock and roll bake sale thing was fun, only i wish i had bought some vegan pastries, because now i only want to live off of those apricot-esque fruit trees that grow in the yards around here.
i don't know why i wrote that. i feel ridiculous and alone and green and cold as the sea. as usual.
  • Current Music
    no MP3s :[

i still believe in your eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes

before i write anything interesting, it's time for some intro[outer?]spection.
i realized i'm an emotionless robot towards people. i can never show appreciation or graditude, can't even muster a "thank you" half the time. i can't show any form of affection towards anyone, even if they show me any. as in, not even towards my parents. i just expect people to do things for me, and therefore feel like i can treat them like shit.

[you can start reading now]
last weekend was fun and i can finally drive again, so i want to drive someone someplace! if only there were sompeplaces to drive. and there better be someplaces, because i want to go to all of them over spring break [astroworld, super happy fun land, hell, etc]. and i want to meet new people.

i hope me and jessie get jobs making sandwhiches with vanilla ice, sounds surreal doesn't it??????????????? i should go fill out that application now i guess.
i wish i had new clothing and a camera.
  • Current Music
    gigi d'agostino - i'll fly with you

(no subject)

badd raffi: what are three things people could do to make this world a better place? i say 1. sleep naked. 2. eat bannana nut muffins 3. ride mopeds instead of cars
a scifi lullaby: i agree with all of those
badd raffi: oo.
a scifi lullaby: which is why we should all live in italy.
badd raffi: how true.
a scifi lullaby: only, i don't know if they're big on banana nut muffins.
badd raffi: they eat pastry's.
badd raffi: and a muffin is a pastry, i think.
badd raffi: so that's close enough
badd raffi: and i'm sure they all sleep naked in italy
badd raffi: i mean, it's italy
a scifi lullaby: and definately ride mopeds
a scifi lullaby: fuck, i wish i lived in italy.
badd raffi: damn, me too.

it's about due time

my aim just crashed.
last week through sunday was entirely shit. i was fatigued during the weekdays, probably from not eating enough, and i kept getting horrible headaches for some reason. i just hope this week will be better because... tomorrow is another day?

i did something i haven't done in... ever. i watched the oscars on sunday. very lame
seeing as i'd only seen two of the movie nominated in any catergory [luckily, one of them won nearly every award]. but that day i also had watched a movie that was two hours of jesus being beaten into a bloody pulp, which believe it or not was also uncharacteristic of me.

continuing on the oscar theme, a dialogue between jaime lee curtis and an abc censor. FUNNY, LAUGH, GOOD TIME!!!!!!1Collapse )

(no subject)

i slept for 3 hours this evening, then i took a shower and could see all these thick blue veins in my legs which were also had sporadically placed green and purple bruises that i as usual have no idea when they got there. it was all very ugly and not at the same time.
i hate all the impersonal college emails that want me to click on a link so i get swamped with impersonal snail mail and a "sneak peak" of the brochures i will be swamped with which invariably end up unopened in a pile on the coffee tables. those at least have pictures. but i don't have any idea of where i want to go to college [someplace warm?], any idea of what i want to major in college [i'm not above average in anything], or how to pay for it [my english teacher scared me from writing any essays, even scholarship ones].
maybe i'll go to college in mexico.
i cannot think, therefore i am not living.

oh, and the other day i counted [i had a reason, i think] and i've had bubble tea at 11 different places. ELEVEN.