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one of my computers is majorly fucked up, so i had to transfer all my important files [such as handsome boy modeling school mp3s] over to this computer. well, i was looking through some old text files and i found something i wrote circa 8th grade which is rather terrifying. i remember writing it, but not what i wrote.
it was something i did not want to read and i questioned how stupid i was back then. this was something i would not even put into that creative writing final binder had i come upon it back then [not that it was appropriate for class...]
geek alert :[
  • Current Music
    new order - temptation

you turn me on, the girl is gone, so come on

today my mother came in my room and asked what i was listening to, then said it sounded like hootie and the blowfish.
RUFUS WAINWRIGHT DOES NOT SOUND LIKE HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH
today the schneid told us she was retiring after this school year. it made me a tad sad, because she almost started crying, but then immediately began mentally constructing who the newspaper teacher will be next year. they will be hot, in a mysterious way. and male... duh.
i finally saw/heard the stills who have been mentioned in many a magazine... via a video on noggin (?). is this weird?
that rock and roll bake sale thing was fun, only i wish i had bought some vegan pastries, because now i only want to live off of those apricot-esque fruit trees that grow in the yards around here.
i don't know why i wrote that. i feel ridiculous and alone and green and cold as the sea. as usual.
  • Current Music
    no MP3s :[

i still believe in your eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes

before i write anything interesting, it's time for some intro[outer?]spection.
i realized i'm an emotionless robot towards people. i can never show appreciation or graditude, can't even muster a "thank you" half the time. i can't show any form of affection towards anyone, even if they show me any. as in, not even towards my parents. i just expect people to do things for me, and therefore feel like i can treat them like shit.

ANYWAYS,
[you can start reading now]
last weekend was fun and i can finally drive again, so i want to drive someone someplace! if only there were sompeplaces to drive. and there better be someplaces, because i want to go to all of them over spring break [astroworld, super happy fun land, hell, etc]. and i want to meet new people.

i hope me and jessie get jobs making sandwhiches with vanilla ice, sounds surreal doesn't it??????????????? i should go fill out that application now i guess.
i wish i had new clothing and a camera.
BYE
  • Current Music
    gigi d'agostino - i'll fly with you

(no subject)

badd raffi: what are three things people could do to make this world a better place? i say 1. sleep naked. 2. eat bannana nut muffins 3. ride mopeds instead of cars
a scifi lullaby: i agree with all of those
badd raffi: oo.
a scifi lullaby: which is why we should all live in italy.
badd raffi: how true.
a scifi lullaby: only, i don't know if they're big on banana nut muffins.
badd raffi: they eat pastry's.
badd raffi: and a muffin is a pastry, i think.
badd raffi: so that's close enough
badd raffi: and i'm sure they all sleep naked in italy
badd raffi: i mean, it's italy
a scifi lullaby: and definately ride mopeds
a scifi lullaby: fuck, i wish i lived in italy.
badd raffi: damn, me too.

it's about due time

my aim just crashed.
last week through sunday was entirely shit. i was fatigued during the weekdays, probably from not eating enough, and i kept getting horrible headaches for some reason. i just hope this week will be better because... tomorrow is another day?

i did something i haven't done in... ever. i watched the oscars on sunday. very lame
seeing as i'd only seen two of the movie nominated in any catergory [luckily, one of them won nearly every award]. but that day i also had watched a movie that was two hours of jesus being beaten into a bloody pulp, which believe it or not was also uncharacteristic of me.

continuing on the oscar theme, a dialogue between jaime lee curtis and an abc censor. FUNNY, LAUGH, GOOD TIME!!!!!!1Collapse )

(no subject)

i slept for 3 hours this evening, then i took a shower and could see all these thick blue veins in my legs which were also had sporadically placed green and purple bruises that i as usual have no idea when they got there. it was all very ugly and not at the same time.
i hate all the impersonal college emails that want me to click on a link so i get swamped with impersonal snail mail and a "sneak peak" of the brochures i will be swamped with which invariably end up unopened in a pile on the coffee tables. those at least have pictures. but i don't have any idea of where i want to go to college [someplace warm?], any idea of what i want to major in college [i'm not above average in anything], or how to pay for it [my english teacher scared me from writing any essays, even scholarship ones].
maybe i'll go to college in mexico.
i cannot think, therefore i am not living.

oh, and the other day i counted [i had a reason, i think] and i've had bubble tea at 11 different places. ELEVEN.